Divorce is a messy process, and often brings out the worst part of perfectly nice people. like a well balanced woman hurling a remote at the husbands face. And at that moment, you just want to hurt the other person and you are blinded by rage. Of course the satisfaction is momentary, followed by a lot of remorse. But this happens to the best of us.
You end up wondering what sort of a person you are turning into. this is not you, this raging, ill behaving emotional mess. What makes you behave in a way that, when you look back, makes you cringe with shame and wish you could go back and change it all?
Firstly, divorce is heartbreaking and painful. It turns your life around, and threatens your well balanced stable life. It can be a very scary experience in terms of not knowing what will happen next. In addition, these factors also makes
divorce all the more scarier, bringing out the worst in you.
Money
Money is generally a tricky area. When it comes to divorce, your entire financial plan is threatened. The future in terms of money comes in to question and this can make you edgy.
The trick is to be very business minded when it comes to financial matters in divorce. Be cool headed and negotiate as you would do in a business deal. Do not get emotional or attach any feelings to your decisions in terms of oney.
Strategize the right settlement for you by getting advice from your financial advisor, divorce coach or lawyer. They can give you some sound advice.
Divorce makes you feel like you lost
Divorce is actually a compromise, but it feels like you have lost. It feels like one big fight money and children and who gets what. And no matter what you get, you always feel like the other person won. It is important to not think about divrce as a contest. It is about fixing something that is not working the way it is now, in a way that will work better. Divorce is more of a repair than a contest. Understanding this will make you go through your divorce in a healthier manner.
Stress!
stress, in a divorce is inevitable. The arguments, the lies, the financial and family complications fuel an already stressful situation, making everything feel bigger than it is and more dramatic. This makes you react in an overly dramatic manner, affectng the way we think clearly and process information as well as make decisions. It is of utmost importance to find ways to reduce and manage your stress levels during the divorce period.
Find a healthy way to vent your grief such as a therapist or even a support group and always remember to take care of yourself.
Everyone else knows better
You cant help talking to your friends and family about what you are going through, but their opinions are not always going to be helpful. Be very careful about whom you confide in, and make sure its someone who listens to you rather than makes you listen to their analysis of the situation. You might have friends who have faced simiar situations, but their experiences might be very different to yours and they might not be over it just yet.
If you post one update thrashing your ex, the number of comments and likes would blow you away. The feedback of your friends helping you bash the ex will be quite enabling and will also fuel your rage. It is quite gratifying at that
moment.
Social Media
But the truth is that they are just people who get an enjoyment out of your drama. Besides, how imagine the scandal if your husbands lawyer shows the judge a copy of that hate post you put up on facebook? Dont let the ever available social media make a fool of you.
How can you manage a divorce without it being messy? Always try to have a clear mind, and ask for help from the right people. you can get through this.